Parenting Tip #172: Using Their Toys Against Them

Okay, using the phrase “Parenting Tip” here is probably a bit of a stretch. Full disclaimer: I have absolutely no professional training when it comes to parenting. No degree, no diploma, really no clue. I only have some on-the-job training with my own kids, which certainly doesn't give me any right to be spouting so-called advice to others. Regardless, there have been moments in my tour of duty as a dad where I have come up with ideas that have caused me to chuckle manically to myself like Wile E. Coyote opening up his latest package from ACME. This is one of those moments.

My daughter, like a lot of kids (I think), has a messy room about 97% of the time. For Christmas, she had asked for, and received, a toy that is called a “Little Live Pet Bird.” Two of them, in fact. Why two? Because one would get lonely all by itself, I've been informed. Duh, dad. For those not familiar, basically it's a plastic bird that randomly whistles and chirps as it sits in it's plastic cage. That's not all, though … the “best” part is there's a button on it's chest that, when pressed, will record anything you say to it and then, moments later, will repeat it in a higher, parrot-like pitch. For my 9-year-old daughter, who's voice is already high pitched, it means that upon playback all the dogs in the neighborhood will start to howl. It'll then repeat what you said to it randomly throughout the day, even if you record something new. Needless to say, over the last couple weeks my 9-year-old has had a blast with this thing, which means I was about ready to bury it in the back yard after about 20 minutes. But then I thought, why not use these things to my advantage? Mwwahhhaaahaaaa! (see video below)*

Next I'm planning on creating tiny signs for all her toys to hold up that say things like “UNSAFE WORK ENVIRONMENT!” and “TOO MESSY TO PLAY!” and “NO PLAY UNLESS NO MESS!” If that doesn't work then I'm going to sit them in a circle of chairs in her room and have an intervention when she gets home from school.

Do any of these things really work? Not even a little. Most of the time I just get a, “Daaaaaaaddd!” yelled from her room. But I'm having fun doing them and that's gotta count for something, right?

* I've been told that the video isn't working for some people. Perhaps it's Blogger trying to diplomatically tell me that I've got a face for posting blogs, not videos? Whatever the reason (I'm thinking it's actually your Flash Player needing updating. Go here ... http://get.adobe.com/flashplayer ), the relatively short video is just of me using her aforementioned new bird toys to tell her to clean her room and do her homework.