Fish Grandpa

So I went to my 7-year-old's room this morning to give him a quick goodbye hug/kiss on the head before he left for school and on my way out I bent down to say "good morning" to his goldfish and from behind me I hear in a voice that I can only assume is my son's impression of his fish if they actually had voices say "Oh, hi Grandpa!" followed immediately by my wife's burst of laughter from the other room.

Grandpa?! Um, no, fish. I am not your grandpa.

And grandma in the other room better pipe down.

Alphabet

I just overheard my 7-year-old in the other room singing the alphabet and he ended it with W-X-Y-M-C-A. Was there ever a teacher in the Village People line-up?

Despacito

Thanks to my kids, over the last month or so that song Despacito has fully taken over our household. Fortunately neither of them speak Spanish so they have no idea what the lyrics mean. I will have to say it is somewhat entertaining to hear them mangle said lyrics with their own form of Spanish-inspired gibberish. They have no problem doing that yet they get mad at me when I change it to "Tres Taquitos" and continue filling it with other food items like Doritos, Cheetos, burritos, churros, tacos, etc. I mean, being a life-long fan of "Weird Al," how could I not?

I Mean Dad

My wife is a stay at home mom, which means, among many other things, the kids spend a lot more time with her than with me. And that also means when they want something, 90% of the time they're asking her for it and, directly because of that, 99.9% of the conversations I have with them, I kid you not, begin like this:

KID: Hey Mom?
ME: I'm Dad.
KID: I mean Dad.

Yep, to them I am not simply "Dad." I am "MomIMeanDad."