THE 12-YEAR-OLD: Dad! Can you go in my room and get me some socks?!
ME: Heck no, i won't get you socks ... your room is a disaster. I go in there and I'm liable to trip and fall on all the junk on your floor and then I'll probably break my arm or wrists or something and I won't be able to do my job and then they'll fire me and we won't be able to pay the mortgage on our house and we'll get kicked out and then we'll have to live in our car ... but then a lot of celebrities say that they were living in their car right before they were discovered and became rich and famous so what color socks did you want?
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