THE 7-YEAR-OLD: Happy Birthday, Dad.
ME: Thanks, big guy.
(a few moments of silence)
THE SEVEN-YEAR-OLD: That’s a lot of hair in your armpit there.
ME: Thanks.
THE SEVEN-YEAR-OLD: That wasn’t really a compliment.
THE 13-YEAR-OLD: Happy Birthday, Dad.
ME: Thanks, Chipmunk.
THE 13-YEAR-OLD: I’m sorry I didn’t really get you a present.
ME: That’s okay.
THE 13-YEAR-OLD: Your kids are like your presents.
ME: You’re funny. You tell funny jokes.
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